Happy Easter to all members of Nkoli Social Network.

Psychologists Warn: Never Use These 5 Phrases When Talking To Your Child…

The way we talk to our children becomes their inner voice!

Our brain has a lot more neural connections when we are young. It absorbs almost everything that happens around us with a purpose to better adapt to its surroundings.

As we grow up it holds on only to the most used neural connections and it gets rid of everything that we don’t commonly use.

Our mother’s and father’s voice is something that gets integrated deeply into our psyche, it becomes our inner voice.

The way they speak to us becomes the way our inner voice speaks to us, the way we speak to ourselves.

If they are angry most of the time they speak to us, if they are harsh and cold if they shout and yell whenever we do something wrong, that’s how we’ll deal with ourselves whenever we make a mistake. But as we said, we are all human, we make mistakes and that’s ok. The way you approach the mistakes is how you learn and overcome them.

How to speak to your child?

An insulting inner voice can prevent us from trying new things by making us feel worthless whenever we make a mistake.

While a friendly inner voice can be our greatest support, guide, and motivator in life.

That’s why it is crucial to speak to your child with kindness, love, and honesty even if they make a mistake, or do something wrong.

You will develop a voice inside their head that will support them in life whenever they need support, even when you are not there.

Or at least you can try to avoid saying these phrases:

They are extremely damaging to a child’s developing character!

“Stop crying right now!”

Usually, when a kid does something it knows will be punished for they start crying. But even though there is no reason for them to cry, that’s their emotion. They have all the right in the world to express how they feel. By saying this you are slowly programming your child to suppress its emotions.

Source http://besthealthpage.com/psyc....hologists-warn-never

Hey you, give that guy a glass of water

If You Don’t Want Your Kids To Be ill Mannered, You Have To Stop Making These 5 Errors.

Something that happens to almost every parent are children having temper tantrums and misbehaving, without them even recognizing the issue. Luckily, for you, here, we’re going to present you 5 errors that every parent makes and should stop making them right now!

If you don’t react to these little behaviors and actions in time, you will bring about certain repercussions in your children’s lives.
That was also confirmed by Mrs. Emma Jenner, a very famous woman known for her show on TLC “Take Home Nanny”. There, she revealed 5 errors parents make that sooner or later would suffer the consequences.
According to Emma, it is vital that parents start demanding more from their children or to expect more from them and involve them in their endeavors and difficulties. To give them less, in order to force them to get themselves going. To challenge them.
HERE ARE THE FIVE ERRORS PARENTS NOWADAYS REPEATEDLY MAKE:

#1 You’re afraid of your children

Example: If a child wants to drink milk from a different cup, and not their usual one, parents immediately start looking for another cup instead of ignoring the request. They fear that their child will cry or refuse to eat.
Emma considers this to be a huge mistake. Your child shouldn’t command you. You have to let them cry if they want to and go someplace else if you don’t want to hear it, but never raise your children indulging every single one of their wishes along the way. You must think about what message you´re sending them when you give them all they want just because they are crying. Are you going to do something about it?
#2 Making excuses (“That´s how children are”)

One of the 5 errors is this one. If you justify their misbehavior and outbursts in public by using this phrase, you’re motivating your children to continue misbehaving and be irresponsible.
Children are actually capable of doing much more than their parents can expect. This goes for respect, manners, everyday domestic work, generosity and self-control.
Emma claims that you should raise the expectations you have for your children, that way you’ll teach them how to behave properly.
#3 You don't’ let others scold them

Back in the day, teachers and professors could scold our children when they behaved improperly.
They were our eyes and ears when the children were out of our sight. Nowadays this is almost impossible, because if a teacher or an employee gives a piece of their mind to a child, parents tend to get mad. They don´t even try to find out what happened to cause this kind of a reaction from a superior. If you act like this, you’re basically telling your children to misbehave and that neither you, nor the teacher, or the employee would do anything to stop them.
#4 Children come in the first place

One of the 5 errors is this one, too. Parents tend to look after their children too much. It’s good for the evolution, but we should also create a timetable adaptable to children’s needs, such as food, clothes, nursing and others.
Parents nowadays are taking it to another level, subjecting their own obligations and mental health to children, to satisfying all their needs and requests. You can’t give them everything they want, when they want. You can’t also burst out running for everything they ask for. This will take your peace and your health away, it will stress you out, but above all, it will show your children they are the ones that are in control.
Nothing will happen to your child just because you’ve taken some time for yourself (unless there’s an emergency of some kind), neither will anything happen if you say “No.”
#5 They use to take advantage of the shortcuts

Parents today often resort to a series of shortcuts to avoid their children getting bored and thus start misbehaving. They only burden them with electronic devices whenever they´re waiting for a doctor’s appointment, boarding a plane, waiting for a bus, or just cooking and cleaning at their homes. You have to teach your children how to be patient, when they should learn how to amuse themselves on their own. They should also learn that food won’t be ready and served whenever they want it to be. Above all, you should teach your children they need to help in the kitchen, but not with actual cooking, but with doing the dishes.
This will help them become stronger. Try not to make these 5 errors and be a better parent for your children!

LETTER TO THE EFCC ACTING CHAIRMAN.

By Charles Ogbu.
Sir,
This letter is necessitated by issues of urgent national importance, so permit me to jump protocols and get straight to the point. And I assume your permission to pay you the courtesy of being blunt.
You, Mr Ibrahim Mustafa Magu, are a national disaster as EFCC chairman. The anti-graft agency under your leadership has turned to one hell of an entertainment industry. You are now like a mad king who is dancing naked in the market square and being cheered by a large horde of ****s masquerading as his subjects. The tragedy of the situation of this mad king is that he is mistaking the cheers from the crowd as appreciation of his dancing steps but in reality, it is the big size of his manhood dangling in between his leg the dumb crowd is cheering.
Dear Mr Magu, your anti-graft war is a sham. A farce. A joke and one hell of a terrible lie. In fact, I'm left wondering if it wasn't your so called anti-graft war Shakespeare's tragic character, Macbeth, was referring to when he talked about a tale told by an ****, full of sound and fury, yet signifying nothing.
Just few weeks ago, you appeared before the Senate for your confirmation hearing but when asked how much the EFCC under you has recovered so far, you looked the Senate in the face and responded "I don't know".
How can you claim you are recovering monies without knowing the amount you've recovered so far? If you don't know such a basic thing as how much you've recovered so far, what else can you possibly know?? Since you don't know the amount recovered by your agency, how will you know if some of your operatives are helping themselves with the money? In saner clime, sir, that dumb answer is more than enough to disqualify you from holding any public office even without any DSS report. And if your employer, the president, who is our employee, wasn't such a pathetic excuse for a president himself, he would have sent you back to your village.
Now, in your desperate attempt to convince Nigerians that you are working and compel the Senate to confirm you as the EFCC boss, you've elevated arseholery to a national level and even made it an official govt policy.
You now go about discovery millions and billions of orphaned naira and dollars everywhere.
Few weeks ago, you supposedly discovered 45million naira in an open space at the Kaduna airport. The 'corrupt' owner of the 45million simply packaged the whole money, Nigerian naira for that matter, and left it at the airport for you to find. Weldone Sir!
Just few days ago, you discovered another orphaned huge sum in a shop somewhere in Lagos.
Still not done with your attempt to take over the entertainment industry from Nollywood, you went to a certain building in Ikoyi and discovered not less than $50million that is still without owner. You mischievousiy leaked the so called discovery to your minions at Sahara Reporters but you couldn't establish such a simple thing as the owner of the said house even when every property in Lagos is duly registered. Your whistle blower know there was 'stolen' money at the apartment but didn't know the owner of the said apartment or the money. How convenient!
Let me even ask you one question: how far about the millions discovered in the account of Stella Odua's housemaid, millions discovered in Reuben Abati's Ugu farm plus all the other millions and billions you've been discovering in odd places like pit toilet, Mama Azuka onugbu pot, etc since 2015?
Apart from gifting us with distractions from the calamity that is our President, how many of these so called corrupt people have you convicted in court???
Who exactly are you trying to impress by always leaking details of your ongoing investigation to the press??
Between convicting people on the pages of newspaper and convicting them in the court of law, which one are you after?
After entertaining us with how Dasuki shared billions, how far have you gone with his trial? Have you even established before the court that the money Dasuki shared was from the arms fund and not the PDP campaign fund?? After all the media frenzy, where exactly are you with his trial?
Dear Mr Magu, let me offer you some free piece of advice:
No reasonable person is fooled by this your 'iweta nke a irie m ego' show. Nigeria is not made up of over 180million Zombies. You are only deceiving yourself with this your charade.
This is the 21st century, 2017. Everything has gone digital. Corruption, not excluded. If you must succed in fighting corruption, first, you must embark on self reform and self re-orientation. The biggest obstacle to the anti-graft war is you, Mr Ibrahim Magu. Your method is way too archaic and thuggish to achieve any meaningful result. And the tragedy of it all is that some if not most of these corrupt suspects are actually corrupt but they always end up going scot-free because as the prosecutor, you have repeatedly proven that your criminal ineptitude has a NAFDAC approved number.
You must understand that corruption is fought in the court of law with unassailable evidence, not on social media and on the pages of newspapers with market place gossip, speculations and hearsay. Corruption is fought by closing all the loopholes that gift individuals with access to so much money. Corruption is fought by institutions, not individuals. So, please, stop making the EFCC about you as a person. Stop this desperation to secure the post of substantive EFCC chairman!
If you suspect someone of being corrupt, don't be in a hurry to please the mob and prove that you are working by rushing to arrest the suspect, keep him with you and deny him access to his family and lawyer and use your media allies to convict him in the court of public opinion even when you are yet to establish any case against him. Criminal prosecution requires evidence. Unimpeachable evidence. And when there is even a line of unresolved argument, it is always decided in favour of the accused.
Work more and talk less!
Stop leaking details of your own investigation to the media. By doing so, you are simply jeopardizing your chances of winning those cases in court.
Stop regaling us with tales of how you found millions and billions of orphaned naira and dollars inside some orphaned house and shop in Lagos. Those dollars are new and serially numbered, tracking when and how they came into the country shouldn't be difficult except you were born dumb.
The whole world is watching us, my dear Magu. Each time, you reel out bogus figures of orphaned monies you recovered without establishing the owner and convicting him/her in court, our friends from outside Nigeria are left wondering whether to pause and die laughing or die crying.......laughing or crying at our gullibility as a people.
Assuming we believe some of these orphaned monies were not planted by your agency, it is still the height of conscientious idiocy to expect us to roll out the drum for you simply for discovering money. Taking possession of orphaned cash is no achievement. Achievement is identifying the owners of the said money, putting him/her behind bars and taking possession of the said cash by convincing the court that the monies actually came from a criminal source.
I assume you are already on your way to discovering another billions, so let me end this here.
Accept my sincerest regard, Mr acting chairman.
Concerned citizen
Charles Ogbu